In November I attended the End Well Symposium curated by my friend Shoshana Ungerleider, MD. It was a remarkable event where I was inspired by amazing people and the information they shared. The focus of the event is to shift the mindset and culture around the final phases of our life – “Make end of life, part of life.“ I find alignment with this mindset change as I strive to shift the general perspective to one that sees Alzheimer’s and dementia as reversible.
As with any event, I walked away with a lot of goodies. I do have a favorite item – the Have the Talk of a Lifetime Conversation Cards from Remembering a Life.
The card deck is designed to help you have the conversation of a lifetime at your next family gathering in a playful atmosphere. This game is a resource that can help us have those difficult, but meaningful and important discussions families often avoid.
It contains conversation starters like:
🤣 What made you laugh so hard you cried?
🛌 What was your favorite bedtime story growing up?
🦸 Who has been the most influential person in your life?
We think of the holidays as a time to foster comfort and joy. We typically imagine the family together for making happy memories, not for having difficult conversations such as cognitive decline concerns or end of life decisions.
In this video “Why We Don’t Plan for the End of Life,” Shoshana Ungerleider, MD notes that creating a sense of urgency around this conversation is our biggest challenge. Perhaps this holiday season, it is time to create that sense of urgency.
The Love Always Project offers these guidelines for framing the conversation:
- Start with life, not death.
- The conversation cards are a great tool to celebrate these memories.
- Start with your own funeral plans.
- The experience of creating your own plans will help you learn what needs to be determined.
- Get “social” with your loved one.
- Becoming involved in their social media can provide insight to what matters to them.
- Frame funeral pre planning as an act of love.
- Be clear that this is about love and honoring a legacy.
The Conversation Project is another resource that provides a variety of free downloadable material. The starter guide has a step-by-step worksheet to walk you through the conversation so you don’t miss key topics. I suggest printing this guide and working on it together.
If you missed last week’s email, I offered tips and resources specifically around talking to loved ones about cognitive decline. You can read it here.
It’s challenging to reconcile these emotional topics in connection with holiday celebrations. Let’s strive to make these conversations positive and a celebration of the memories we have with our loved ones.
Warmly,
Dr. Heather Sandison
P.S. – I have great news for the majority of you that couldn’t make it to Los Angeles on a Thursday to attend the End Well Symposium. The livestream replay is available to watch FREE online!
P.P.S. – If your conversations around cognitive health have inspired you to take action, I am hosting a LIVE online workshop on Monday, December 11, diving deep into one of Marama’s cornerstones of care: integrating a keto diet into a home-based memory care routine. Click here to register and save your place.
